I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize