All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
