It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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