Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
