i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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