i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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