so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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