see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
