so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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