you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
