Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
