Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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