Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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