i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
