theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
