We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
