Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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