I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??