Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Some milfs here doing some blow
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
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I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now