Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.