you win again, gameday.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂