yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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