so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
