Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
