everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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