if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
