Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
