You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
someone owes me an orgasm
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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