I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize