pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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