those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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