I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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