she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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