I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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