I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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