it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize