And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
