Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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