ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if only i could text you this smell
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
