u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
