i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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