i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
