Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
