Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was so not down for the gang bang
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize