Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize