Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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