Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
