She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
