Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
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What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
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Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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