I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
