we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
