Will you blow on my dice?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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