This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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