Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
