I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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