He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
