The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize