BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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