please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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