Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

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  (212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv
  Replies (22) Good night (1345) Bad night (1018)
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  (914): View more from New York

  you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

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  (914): you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/cp2f
  Replies (21) Good night (1270) Bad night (7043)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"

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  (516): i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth" http://tfl.nu/n9fj
  Replies (44) Good night (1119) Bad night (6979)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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  (541): i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar. http://tfl.nu/crfd
  Replies (7) Good night (3344) Bad night (1998)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6414) Bad night (2491)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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  (610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx
  Replies (5) Good night (2264) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!

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  (770): Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?! http://tfl.nu/n67z
  Replies (12) Good night (644) Bad night (1183)
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  (742): View more from

  All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.

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  (742): All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat. http://tfl.nu/3hf2
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (456)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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  (907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9
  Replies (14) Good night (2297) Bad night (756)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team

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  (434): mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team http://tfl.nu/khyn
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced

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  (919): You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced http://tfl.nu/qaoy
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (402)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.

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  (512): Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man. http://tfl.nu/fxpn
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (365)
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  (750): View more from

  Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

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  (750): Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on." http://tfl.nu/43jv
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.

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  (646): I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously. http://tfl.nu/f1wv
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

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  (317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (167)

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