Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.