trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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