saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ladies don't puke and tell
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.