Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i wish i had your life

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  (904): btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets (1-904): i wish i had your life http://tfl.nu/5ctk
  Replies (33) Good night (4002) Bad night (698)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

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  (202): She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week (1-202): stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant http://tfl.nu/5f4w
  Replies (63) Good night (3773) Bad night (1383)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.

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  (607): i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady. http://tfl.nu/6072
  Replies (40) Good night (1820) Bad night (5849)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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  (315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw
  Replies (20) Good night (1558) Bad night (7129)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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  (256): No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gby7
  Replies (25) Good night (9336) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.

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  (774): just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break. http://tfl.nu/t20t
  Replies (2) Good night (2167) Bad night (817)
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  (619): View more from California

  Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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  (619): Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance. http://tfl.nu/l10e
  Replies (5) Good night (1406) Bad night (1237)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.

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  (978): Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance. http://tfl.nu/nlqh
  Replies (13) Good night (1498) Bad night (840)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2362) Bad night (591)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams. 

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  (404): Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.  http://tfl.nu/pssg
  Replies (4) Good night (1059) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  DC is easy, you will figure it out.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.

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  (617): DC is easy, you will figure it out. (508): I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this. http://tfl.nu/ltz6
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

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  (315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj
  Replies (0) Good night (347) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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  (508): He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush http://tfl.nu/vzo2
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.

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  (619): A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/3eld
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (290)

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