It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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