she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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