I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
