i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
