You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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