watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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