do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
