went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
