I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
