please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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